


How Will This End For Me?

by castivak



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Peter Parker, Castiel is Jack Kline's Parent, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Dealing, Drug Use, Flash Thompson Being A Jerk, Gen, Human Jack Kline, Hurt Jack Kline, Inspired by Euphoria (TV 2019), Jack Kline Feels, Jack Kline Needs A Hug, M/M, POV Jack Kline, Past Relationship(s), Teen Peter Parker, Trans Jack Kline, Underage Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:01:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24958813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castivak/pseuds/castivak
Summary: it had taken awhile, but jack had found the desire to heal, getting the motivation from a red head with bright blue eyes. tragically, the desire didn't last long and his heart was crushed with just a few words, leading to past events being repeated and a sobriety streak being destroyed.now, jack was finding himself in new york after his mistakes led to his family needing a new area to have a fresh start; everyone giving their support, but it was hard to find that want to heal again.would he find the desire to change or would he be stuck like this forever?
Relationships: Castiel/Kelly Kline (Supernatural), Jack Kline & Peter Parker
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is based off this edit that i made awhile back : https://www.instagram.com/p/CBMG3MtH5Eo/?igshid=j8bm6gbebv7a  
> ~  
> the tags will be edited frequently, don't mind that!

jack stared out the window, watching the lamps shine down on the highway as his father drove the car towards the city, his sister in the backseat beside him and his mother upfront with her husband, the only sound in the car being the music that his mother had put into the stero.

everyone had seemed too afraid to speak, not sure if they should talk about the major elephant in the room; the silence wasn't necessarily uncomfortable though, but it wasn't comfortable either. it was a weird middle feeling that jack didn't particularly enjoy, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to be engaging in a conversation with his parents right now.

it was another one of his dumb mistakes that made them leave home, living under the roof that their son overdosed in more than once was too much for his parents to deal with, so here they were, on a melancholy road trip to their new home in queens, a moving van following behind them.

"jack." castiel spoke softly from the front, the teenager looking up at his father's call, noticing that his mother and sister were asleep in their seats and he was surprised he wasn't asleep as well, it was past midnight after all; "i....i know this must be incredibly hard, for several reasons." the man continued, keeping his voice hushed as to not disturb the others in the car, "but, you know that we're all here for you, right? me, your mother, and maggie; we support you and love you very much."

"i know, dad."

"and you'll get past this, i know you will. you're a strong kid, jack, and hopefully the change in area will help with everything. the, uh....the clinic we found seems very good and so is the school."

jack gave castiel a smile, not sure how else to respond, before pulling his phone out of his pocket and putting his headphones in, playing music and going back to staring out the window.

  
**•◇•**

  
"JACK!"

jack chuckled to himself as his sister ran towards him, dropping his suitcase and running to her, meeting halfway on the lawn of the rehab center and colliding into each other, hugging tightly; "i missed you." maggie smiled as she buried his face into her older brother's shoulder, the blonde smiling and putting a hand on the back of her head, "missed you too, mags." he cooed before pulling away, seeing his mother leaning against her car and he waved exaggeratingly, making kelly smile as she waved back.

it's not like she wasn't excited to see her son in person for the first time in nearly three months, she was picking her eldest child up from a place he got himself into by nearly dying; jack couldn't imagine the mixture of his emotions his mom was feeling right now.

after grabbing his suitcase, he walked over to kelly and wrapped his arms around in her in a silent hug, the woman smiling as she hugged back, her hand subconsciously going to his back and rubbing in small circles, the hug lasting awhile before they broke away and kelly looked up at her son, putting a hand on his cheek and giving it a tiny pat, "it's so good to see you, jack." she whispered and he smiled a little, "good to see you too, mom."

  
**•◇•**

  
jack looked down at the address that was sloppily written down on the piece of coloring book paper in his hands, having had this note in his pocket for a week before he was actually able to find where his rehab roommate had told him to go; the blonde had made it very clear to his roommate that he had zero intention of staying clean and the highschooler he was bunking with had given jack the scrap of paper the day that the two were leaving, telling him to ask for aaron.

this "aaron" guy probably won't end up being clark barker material, but hopefully he was a reliable supplier.

jack pushed the convenience store door open, the bell above his head ringing and the faint sound of music playing through the shop's speakers, a guy with a buzzcut and a ginger beard sitting behind the counter, an ashtray sitting on the glass counter with the slightly smoking end of a joint playing inside of it; "are you aaron?" the boy asked and the man looked up, "nah man, you looking for 'im?"

"yeah, uh, a friend said i could go to him."

the guy behind the counter nodded, pointing to his left and jack turned his head, seeing a door that had an "employees only! (we mean it)" sign taped onto it, "give it a couple knocks, he'll let you in." he instructed and jack nodded, thanking him before walking over to the door and knocking, "if you ain't fez, then leave."

"uh......fez told me to come here."

there was silence before jack heard the door unlock and the teenager hesitated before opening the door, walking into a room that was used for storage but also a break room as it had a couple chairs and a table, as well as a microwave and a mini fridge; "don't think i've seen you here before." the man that jack suspected was aaron spoke as he sat down in a sort of beat up desk chair, a lit cigarette in hand, "i just moved here from kansas."

"pretty damn far, how'd you get to me?"

"august told me to come to you for stuff."

aaron nodded as he blew out smoke, "alright, the fuck you want then?" he asked and jack pulled out his wallet, smacking it lightly against palm as he told aaron his "order", the one that he's given to clark a bazillion times, and he feared that aaron wouldn't have what he needed, but the man just nodded before pushing his feet against the cement floor and sliding back to the mini fridge that jack was realizing wasn't even plugged in as aaron opened it, pulling out a few dime bags before sliding back over to jack.

"that'll be one-twenty, kid."

the blonde pulled out the cash, handing it to aaron as he took the rubber band wrapped dime bags filled with pills and bars, "come back when you out, 'kay?" he spoke as he went back to his cigarette and jack smiled a little as he pocketed his supplies, "you got it." the boy replied before exiting the room, shutting the door behind him.

"it's five dollars!"

"for that comment, its fuckin' ten."

jack looked up at the playful banter, seeing a teenage boy that looked to be his age standing at the counter, backpack on and a blue sweater over a collared shirt, holding a wallet and a smile on his face as he looked to the cashier that pointed jack to aaron, "fez, c'mon man, i was joking." the brunette laughed, handing fez a five dollar bill and the cashier took it with a scoff, "one day m'gonna kick you outta here." he mumbled and the teenager laughed as he took his items, "what do you mean, i'm a wonderful company."

"yeah, yeah, just take your shit and go."

the teenager waved before walking out of the store, the bell ringing above the door as he left and jack walked away from the employees door, shoving his hands in his pockets before walking towards the drink section of the store, grabbing a soda and walking to the counter, "find everything okay?" fez asked as he scanned jack's item, "you'll get that answer if i come back." the blonde shrugged and the cashier chuckled, "fair enough." he replied as he took the couple bills from jack, ringing it up and handing the boy his change before jack grabbed his drink, heading out the door and climbing onto his bike, making his way home with heavy pockets.

  
**•◇•**

  
jack stepped off the train, following maggie as they walked towards their new highschool, hands in his pockets as he sped up to walk beside his sister, "i can see why you got into this school, but me? mom definitely pulled some strings." he muttered as the siblings made their way down several stairs and towards one of the entries to midtown tech, maggie scoffing at her brother's comment, "you're smarter than you think, jack."

"i'm not tech school smart, not by any means."

"tell that to your iq test." she smiled as they walked across the football field, hearing the chatting of other students as they went towards the school's double-doored entrance, crossing the small road in between the front of the school and the stairs that led up from the football field, "hopefully not everyone here is an arrogant asshole." jack muttered as they reached the doors, "i doubt everyone here is an asshole, there are thousands of kids here, you probably won't even meet one of the assholes."

jack shrugged, sitting down on a cement siding that surrounded the stairs, turning his head as he heard an engine revving, seeing the brunette that he saw at the convenience store a few days ago nearly dodge being hit by a car, the driver having sped up to scare the teenager, " 'sup penis parker?!" the driver shouted for driving away, the brunette he almost hit rolling his eyes before walking up the stairs, jack and him making brief eye contact before the stranger went inside the building.

"what were you saying about me not even meeting one of the assholes?" jack teased as he looked up at his sister, maggie rolling his eyes at him and playfully smacking his shoulder.

  
**•••**

  
jack pulled his backpack to his chest as he looked around the school's gymnasium, watching students that shared gym class with him this period do their own activities; some were climbing rope, some were doing sit ups (except one girl who was just raising her book up and down as she laid on a mat), some running laps around the gym---you get the idea.

jack was sitting in the bleachers with a few other students who had finished their physical testing, but he hadn't finished his testing or even done it, actually. while he wasn't all that happy about the handful of immune disorders he had, or his "problem list" as his doctors called it, the major plus side of getting fucked over in the genetic lottery was getting an excuse from gym classes; hell, he actually wasn't evem supposed to be put into a gym class, but he would have to take that to the counselors office later.

jack pulled out his phone, hiding his hands in his backpack as he scrolled through media and listened to music with one earbud in, just trying to entertain himself as the clock ticked by so very slowly; "okay, now this is bullshit." a sort of familiar voice groaned loudly, obviously wanting the entire class to hear, but jack kept his eyes on his phone, listening but not looking, "he gets to skip out on an entire test and he doesn't get shit for not dressing? i wear the wrong socks and i'm yelled at for an hour!"

the blonde held back a sigh as he looked up to see who was being an asshole, finding the student who nearly hit that brunette with his car this morning, "is his mom sleeping with coach or something? shit." the stranger laughed to his small group of friends and jack immediately got to his feet, getting off the bleachers and leaving his backpack by itself, "why don't you just fucking say it to my face?"

the kid looked up at jack's voice, looking kinda surprised that someone was talking back to him but he quickly hid his shock, "oh damn, maybe you can answer my question; why aren't you getting a lecture from coach right now? i mean, you're just sitting there in the bleachers while the rest of us have to do all this crap."

"i have an excuse, dumbass."

"oh, really? did your mommy flirt her way into getting you special treatment?"

jack clenched his fist, stepping closer to the bully, "look, i get that i look like an easy target but i'd fucking watch myself if i were you." he spat and the student laughed, "you should go sit back down, don't wanna overwork yourself." he mocked before shoving at jack's chest, pushing him away and causing the boy to the fall to the floor, smacking his head against the boarded gym floor and he cursed, sitting up and putting a head on the back of his head.

without a word, jack stood uo and went over to his seat, grabbing his belongings and storming out of the gym, heading towards the locker rooms and ignoring the coach's poor attempts at getting him to stop, going to the bathrooms and locking himself in a stall, letting out a huff before he fished into his backpack, pulling out one of the dime bags that aaron gavw him and grabbing his keys from his pocket, dipping his house key into the white powder inside the bag and gathering some on the side of it, pressing it to his nose and sniffing it off, doing that action a couple times before putting his items back in their places.

it's been a day and he already hates it here; why couldn't they have just stayed in kansas? was it really that neccessary to move several states away?

jack sighed as he sat down on the toilet, putting his head in his hands and tapping his foot against the tile, freezing as he heard the door of the bathroom creak open; "hello? you alright?" a voice called and jack stood up, opening the stall door and looking out, seeing the brunette teenager once again, "uh, yeah, i'm alright, just didn't really expect to get thrown around, you know?" he mumbled as he grabbed his bag and the brunette nodded, "yeah, i get it, flash can get really shit."

"that fucker's name is flash? are his friends named batman and green lantern?" 

the teenager laughed at jack's joke, jack smiling a little as the room fell into awkward silence before the brunette held his hand out, "i'm peter, by the way." he informed and jack took his hand, shaking it, "i'm jack."

"......you sure you're okay?"

jack smiled at peter, happy to finally know the kid's name, "yeah, m'good, just a headache i'll have to deal with for an hour or so." he shrugged and peter smiled, "i, uh, should get going before the locker room is filled with sweaty idiots." he mumbled and peter chuckled, "smart move, see you around, jack." he smiled before going back to class and jack watched him leave before stepping out of the bathroom, walking out of the gym's doors and sitting down on a bench outside, letting the high hit him as he listened to his music and waited for this day to be over.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i edited this chapter the tiniest bit because i wanted to acknowledge the fact that jack is trans in this story, so i added the binder part near the end. it's going to be extremely subtle, but i make jack trans in every story because that's what i hc and i just want to make sure it's known that he is an ftm trans person!

it's been a few weeks since school started; few, but very long weeks.

jack's classes were now in order, no longer getting bullied for sitting on the bleachers in gym because the school counselor made a mistake, in the main academics and getting the electives that he felt would be the least boring because not doing gym meant he needed to do extra electives to make up for that credit.

thankfully this school had a wide variety and he wouldn't get stuck with a stupid class like nutrition where a woman who just so happened to also teach gym and only wore athletic clothes made him feel like an idiot for not having the diet that she felt was correct.

no thanks, he'll stick to art classes.

over the dozens of hours he spent here, jack had gotten a good idea of what midtown was like; a big school full of above average iq students with bright futures ahead of them, most of them already having a plan of how they wanted to get to their dream college and the major they would pursue there, leading to a good paying job that they would enjoy being at.

jack didn't know much but he knew that he didn't fit into that "big brain with a bright future" category, he definitely didn't feel above average and he's definitely killed several brain cells over the years, why did his parents think this school was right for him? furthermore, how did he get accepted?

sure, he was "gifted" as a child, but that didn't mean anything academically once you left elementary school, being gifted just means you'll get a crushing realization that you'll never amount to what you thought you would, not to mention you'll definitely develop several issues, probably both mental and physical.

what was jack, a teenage drug addict with a mile long problem list, doing at a school like this?

whatever reason got him here, jack wasn't going to object, this school seemed pretty okay give or take a couple kids, not to mention that he had made his first friend since moving here and that friend made him feel good about the world for the first time in awhile.

that brunette that had come in to make sure he was alright after banging his head on the gym floor was actually a pretty cool guy; peter liked similar music and media to what jack liked, their humor was similar, peter was a fucking idiot but also smart enough to be enrolled here, and he wasn't afraid to break boundaries, like he wouldn't make sure to sit five feet apart to keep his masculinity in tact.

peter was the type of friend that jack really missed, the type that he had but lost because of some bullshit that came between them.

jack dropped his pins-coated backpack onto the desk, peter turning his head as the blonde sat down in the seat next to him, "wow, you made it before the bell rang. the brunette teased and jack chuckled, "shut up, i was late once." he mumbled before the teacher shut the classroom doors, bell ringing as she did so and she stood in front of her class, "i know we've been here for awhile, but today we're going to be doing a little performance exercise."

at those words, jack froze as the dread of whatever "performance exercise" he was going to be forced into doing creeped up on him, "we won't get to everyone today, but i want to hear an explanation, not extreme detail but not vague, of something big that happened to you this past year; anytime from news years day to now."

wow, she literally couldn't have picked a worse prompt.

jack began to sink into his seat, pulling his jacket tighter around himself in hopes of not getting called on, "ah, i see we have our first performer; jack."

"please don't make me do this."

"c'mon everyone, lets give him some encouragement." the teacher beamed as she clapped her hands, the students joining her and jack slowly got out of his seat, burying his hands in his pockets as he walked to the front of the room, heart pounding in his chest as all eyes moved onto him, "u-um.....what was the prompt, again?"

"anything impactful that happened to you this year."

jack nodded, swallowing thickly as he looked down at the ground, trying to put his focus anywhere but onto the dozens of eyes upon him; it's not that he was having trouble remembering, there was plenty of things that impacted him this year, but nothing he'd want to share with a bunch of strangers and peter.

"w-well......i moved here from lebanon---a town in kansas."

"oh, that's interesting, why is that?"

oh, nothing, he just overdosed on opiates because a boy that he was in love with said to never speak to him again; "uh....i-it's kinda complicated."

"well, explain it the best you can." the teacher smiled and jack wanted to scream because jesus christ, she couldn't take a fucking hint; "i....i...." he stammered, trying to find a way to continue this story but his brain didn't want to do it, just forcing him to remember all the bullshit that meeting a stupidly pretty red head with stupidly beautiful blue eyes did to him, causing his family to move from their home town and pay way too much money to get him some help that wouldn't even do anything in the end.

jack couldn't even blame anyone besides himself; he was the one who relied on someone who didn't feel the same, he was the one who overdosed, he was the one who spent weeks at a rehab just to fuck it all up after he got out, he was the one who was putting his loved ones through so much bullshit that it's a miracle they haven't snapped yet.

jack screwed his eyes shut, holding back tears and struggling to breathe, pulling his hands out of his pockets and pushing his palms against his eyes, taking in a shaky breath and trying not to lose it all in front of his creative writing class; "i-i'm sorry." he sniffled, a wave of hot shame crashing over him and making him feel way too hot, his stomach turning strangely, "you're alright, just take a deep breath and try again."

jack could hear students whispering to each other, annoyed that the new kid was holding up their class time by having a damn panic attack over a simple assignment; "i-i can't do this, i can't, i'm sorry." he rushed out as he moved his hands from his face, tears leaking from his eyes before he buried his hands in his pockets and walked out of the classroom, wiping at his face as he made his way to the nearest restroom.

shoving the bathroom door open and rushing into the nearest stall, jack locked the cubicle shut and fished into his pockets, pulling out a dime bag with a couple small pills inside and he pulled one out, placing it down on the box that held crappy toilet paper before placing a dollar over it, using his phone to crush it into powder and using his school id to put the white powder into lines, rolling up the dollar bill and getting ready to inhale the drug.

a knock on the stall door made jack jump in surprise, the boy cursing to hinself before blowing away what could've been a wonderful high, flushing the last two white pulls in the bag down the toilet to decrease suspicion, "jack? it's me." he heard peter ask and jack took a deep breath, wiping at this face again before unlocking the door, pushing it open to see a concerned teenager on the other side, ".....are you okay?"

jack leaned against the bathroom wall, biting the inside of his cheek, "no, not at fucking all."

"what's wrong?"

"i don't know peter, maybe it's the fact that i was just forced into giving a presentation that triggered a panic attack because kansas gave me and my entire fucking household trauma because i'm a fucking cunt who can't do one good thing." jack rambled, moving past peter and beginning to pace the bathroom, peter watching him and trying his best to support, "that's not true, jack."

"it isn't true, it isn't fucking--" jack repeated, cutting himself off by slamming his fist against a stall door, it swinging open and crashing against the wall, the blonde taking a breath before turning to his friend, "peter, you've barely known me a month, okay? you haven't even seen the tip of the jack kline iceberg; i'm a fucking terrible human being and i've done so many shitty things that you probably won't ever get to know because i'll hurt you and ruin this friendship like i fucking did the last one."

jack sighed as he leaned against the sink counter, putting his face in his hands, "jack." he heard peter whisper, followed by some footsteps and he removed a hand from his face, looking up and meeting eyes with peter, "you're right; i don't know what you've been through and i haven't known you for very long, but that doesn't mean that you're a bad person. everyone has something or several somethings that they've done that weren't the best, i've done terrible things before, but do you think i'm a bad person?"

"......no."

"exactly, so in my opinion; you're pretty great."

jack gave peter a sad smile, "one day, i'm gonna say i told you so." he mumbled and peter just pulled him into a hug, to which the blonde hesitantly hugged back, burying his face in peter's shoulder.

  
**•◇•**

  
jack lazily clapped his hands along with the rest of the midtown cafeteria as the football team and cheerleading squad made their way out of the room, the cheer team having danced to shitty upbeat music while the football squad screamed and banged on tables, trying to get the cafeteria to cheer for them.

the blonde put his head on peter's shoulder as the crowd left, "i felt safer at my shitty kansas public school." he muttered and peter chuckled, putting an arm around jack's shoulders and resting a hand on his head, "they're going against a rival team tonight, so they're forcing us to boost the teams' ego." mj informed without looking up from her book, annoyed just like the rest of the table at the event, "i would've liked a warning."

"hey, penis!" flash shouted and jack looked up, seeing that shithead of a kid get up from the table across from theirs and make his way over, "here we fucking go." jack huffed as he sat up a bit, peter's arm still around his shoulders, "shit, didn't know you and the bieber impersonator were dating, can't say i'm surprised though." flash teased and jack rolled his eyes, "what do you want?"

"i was just gonna ask penis if he was gonna come to liz's party tonight; hey, wouldn't that be a nice little date for you two?"

"liz is having a party?" peter asked and liz, who had been sitting at the table across from theirs, turned her head to look at the group, shrugging a little, "uh, yeah, i'm having people over tonight after the game; all of you are more than welcome to come." she smiled and jack's eyes widened a bit, "......really? tonight?"

"what, you never been invited to a party before, jackie?"

"holy shit, you bothered to learn my name." jack gawked sarcastically at flash before turning back to liz as she spoke, "yeah, tonight; if you can't make it, it's not like i'll be mad or anything." the senior girl smiled and jack smiled back, "i'll be there......most likely."

"don't be such a pussy, just come to the damn party with your boyfriend." flash scoffed, the blonde opening his mouth to respond but the bell stopped him, "hope to see you guys there." liz smiled as she got up and left, most of the cafeteria doing the same and jack dropped his head onto the tabke as flash left, making an audible "clunk" sound; "one day, he's gonna say some real fucked up shit and i'm going to get a criminal record."

  
**•◇•**

  
jack rode his bike down and into the driveway, climbing off his bike and leaning it against the white garage door, letting out a sigh as he pulled out his phone and checked the time, seeing that it was past six at night and he had gotten out of school at three, "fuck." jack sighed, dreading the questions his parents were going to ask him as he shoved his phone back in his pocket, his fingers brushing against the dime bags that he bought from aaron, said dime bags being the reason he was coming home so late.

with a huff, jack pulled his keys out of his pocket and walked up the stairs, preparing himself for conversation as he opened the front door and went inside, seeing his mother and sister sitting in the living room with the tv on whilst his dad was sitting at the dinner table, "where were you?" castiel asked as he heard the door open and shut, looking up at his son, "uh, me and a friend went to eat."

"and you didn't think to let any of us know?"

"sorry, it must've slipped my mind." jack muttered as he walked past the kitchen, dropping his keys into the bowl that held everyone else's keychains, "jack, things like that can't just slip your mind." castiel replied, anger in his tone and jack just ignored him, continuing to walk to his room, "don't just walk away from me, this is serious, jack." he called as he got up from his seat, following after his son, "i don't know what you want me to say."

"i want you to keep me and your mother informed on these things, you can't just be doing whatever you want."

"i just fucking told you what i was doing!"

"that's not what i meant and you know it!" castiel spat and jack slammed the door as he went into his room, "don't slam the door in my face, i'm talking to you!" the man shouted and hack put his back against his door, "it was an accident!" he lied, "okay, fine, if you want to keep like this then you're not leaving this house until you take a drug test!" castiel shouted, "wh--i just peed!" the blonde stammered, "i'll be here when you're ready."

jack sighed as he heard his father walk away, walking to his bed and sitting down on it, knowing that he was in deep shit and he had to figure out how to get out of this before liz's party began; there was an almost perfect way out of this that he could try, but he hadn't done it since he was in kansas and the last person he asked to do this he had known since middle school.

then again, jack really needed to pass this drug test.

jack stood on his bed, opening his bedroom window that was just above his bed and he crawled out of it, very carefully jumping down onto the cement beneath his window because the drop was a little far, but it wasn't so big that he would get really hurt while falling, and once he hit the ground, he took off running into the direction that he knew michelle's house was, hers being the closest out of his friend group.

jack really hoped that asking one of his new friends to piss in a bottle for him wouldn't destroy the bond he had managed to create with mj, and it's not like he wouldn't be doing this if he was really desperate, but he needed to pass a stupid drug test that he was pretty sure his parents had bought in bulk so that he could go to the first party that he was invited to since moving here.

just as the blonde's legs felt like they were about to give out, he had gotten to mj's house and he walked up to the front door, knocking a little frantically and hoping that his friend would answer and not her parents; thankfully his wishes were granted because the door swung open to reveal michelle, "oh, hey, jack....you okay?" she asked once she noticed how heavy his breathing was and the stressed look on his face, "y-yeah, i'm good. i just, uh.....i need a favor."

"why do i get the feeling that this favor is gonna be kinda fucked up?"

jack chuckled awkwardly, leaning towards his friend and whispering his favor in her ear, pulling away and feeling like an idiot at the confused expression on her face, "........seriously?"

"please."

after a few seconds, mj nodded, "yeah, gimme a second." she muttered and jack thanked her as she went back inside, the boy sitting down on the porch steps and putting his face in his hands, letting out a heavy sigh as his chest filled with shame, hating himself for doing this to his friends and wishing that he was less of a prick, but he's dug this hole way too deep and he's stuck now.

eventually, the front door opened and jack stood back up, turning around and mj held out a large bottle of eyedrops, "this was the only thing i could put it in." she shrugged and jack took it from her, "thanks, sorry for asking." he mumbled and the girl shrugged, "eh, i'm not judgmental, see you at liz's later."

"yeah, see you later."

  
**•••**

  
jack taped the bottle to his inner thigh, making sure it was going to stay there and he pulled his pants back up, looking in his mirror to make sure his shirt was long enough to cover the obvious bottle-shaped bulge in his pants, which thankfully it was and he went into his nightstand drawer, putting most of the drugs that he had bought from aaron into the old makeup bag that he hasn't used in awhile, taking one of the many pills out of one of the bags before shutting the drawer.

the pill was covered with a dollar and crushed with his phone, being lined out on his nightstand before jack rolled up the dollar, sniffing up the powder that he had created and letting out a breath, cleaning up the evidence before stepping out of his room, "dad, i gotta pee!" he shouted down the hall before making his way to the bathroom, leaving the door open and waiting for one of his parents to come in, it not taking long before his mother showed up with a drug test and a sample cup in her hands.

kelly shut the door behind her before she handed jack the cup and he hesitantly took it, "i wish we could do this in a way that wasn't a complete invasion of my privacy."

"you get why we have to be invasive though, right?"

"......it was a mistake."

"jack." kelly spoke in her mom voice and jack looked down, "could you at least turn around? please?" he asked and she nodded, turning around and letting her son do his business, "......i-i don't think you understand how terrifying that was for us, jack." she whispered and jack bit the inside of his cheek, "i mean, you nearly died---and maggie, who would do anything for you....to find you like that."

"can--can we not do this right now, mom?"

the room fell silent as jack gently squeezed the bottle taped to his thigh, taking shaky breaths as he tried to fight tears but they poured down his face anyway, the blonde quickly wiping then away as he finished and stood up, pulling his pants back up and his mother turned around as he placed the sample cup on the sink counter, kelly placing the drug test inside of it, "......i'm sorry, for earlier; it wasn't neccessary."

kelly looked up at her son, giving him a small smile, "it's okay, baby, just don't forget to tell your dad that too." she cooed before pulling him into a hug, which the teenager melted into and hugged back, pulling away after a moment and looking down at the test, seeing that it was negative and he made his way to the door, walking out and going to the living room, finding his dad watching tv on the couch and he walked up behind him, wrapping his arms around castiel's shoulders and resting his head on top of his, "i'm sorry for slamming the door and being such an asshole, i know that you're just looking out for me."

castiel smiled, taking his son's hand and giving it a loving squeeze, "i forgive you, jack, just tell us next time you do something like that, okay?" he cooed and jack nodded, "......i know this is awkward timing, but can i spend the night at peter's tonight?"

"yeah, that's fine."

jack smiled, thanking his father before making his way to his room, shutting the door behind him before changing into the clothes that he wanted to wear to liz's party, tugging his patched and pinned washed out denim jacket over his shoulders, putting a powder-filled dime bag in a pocket and his eyes landed on the two pills with smiley faces on them inside one of the dime bags, those two pills being a newer drug that aaron had gotten and convinced jack into buying it.

honestly, it didn't take much convincing for jack to buy the sense-distorters because he wasn't one to shy away from trying something new, plus aaron gave a good pitch; after a bit of pondering, jack grabbed the bag and shoved it in his pocket, grabbing his phone and making his way out of his room, grabbing his keys and shouting a goodbye before leacing the house.

now, liz's house was rather far from jack's, but the teenager had a policy with himself that he wouldn't drink and bike because there have been a few too many times where he woke up in the bushes the next morning instead of his bed, so he was taking the long road and it was going to be even longer because the high was definitely settled in from the drugs he snorted a few minutes ago and his steps were not the straightest; good thing he brought his headphones to keep him entertained.

the bright neon lights of fast food joints and convenience stores shined in jack's face as he got out of his neighborhood and into the stores-only area of queens, some apartment buildings thrown here and there but mainly just people trying to make their way through life at a minimum wage job, or scraping by as they sold their homemade products, cars blasting music and honking at each other as they drove by in the streets, it not as busy as it usually is because it was nine at night.

"YO! KLINE!"

jack jumped at the shout, surprised to hear his name being called and he turned around, seeing a car pull up to the curb with mj sticking her upper body out of the passenger window, "need a ride?" she asked and he walked up to the car, peering inside to find ned driving and peter in the backseat, "why, thank you." he smiled before climbing into the back.

  
**•◇•**

  
jack clumsily climbed up liz's staircase, passing other drunk and/or high students as he made his way to the bathroom, thankful that the room was vacant and he shut the door behind him, pulling out the powder dime bag and collecting some of the dust on his keys, sniffing it off a few times before putting the stuff away, his fingers brushing against the experimentals that aaron had sold to him earlier that day and he pulled the bag out, looking at the pink smiling pills.

with a shrug, jack took the bag out and crushed the pills inside of it with his phone, collecting some powder on his keys just like he did before and sniffing it off, letting out a heavy sigh before cleaning himself up and leaving the bathroom, walking back down the stairs and making a quick stop at the kitchen to grab himself a drink before going outside, seeing his friends sitting on the couches surrounding the bonfire and he made his way over to the group, his head spinning as he plopped down onto the cushions.

the fire before him flickered oddly in his vision, everything seeming to move in slow motion and the voices around him getting louder and more echoed im his ears, his chest feeling hollow and his stomach tumbling around inside of him, taking a big gulp of his drink as his mouth went dry before slumping into the couch, putting his head on peter's shoulder and staring ahead at the weirdly flickering fire with hooded eyes, not particularly feeling great but not terrible.

everyone was so loud, making his head ache but maybe that was the other shit he'd consumed tonight, everything was super bright and almost glitching out in front of his eyes, his stomach doing the weirdest movements and he had a bad feeling that whatever aaron had given him wasn't something he would be purchasing again, or very often depending on this trip ended.

"jack?" he heard peter ask, the teenager's voice distorted and echoing in his ears, "hm?" jack mumbled, his body lagging too hard for him to speak at the moment, "you doing alright? i don't think i can carry you if you fall asleep." peter joked and jack chuckled a little, "m'fine, jus' on some shit." he mumbled, "don't be afraid to speak up if shit goes south." mj spoke from her side of the couch and jack gave her a lazy hand motion to show that he got her message, sinking further into the couch and moving closer to peter, shivering a little as a chill ran through his body.

jack could hear peter and his friends continuing their conversation, the blonde just sitting their silently as he drank his drink and went through his trip, trying to keep his body from entering a terrible place that he was afraid it would take him to, but as his stomach got more twisted and his heart thudded loudly in his chest, it beating so loud that he could feel it in his throat, jack worried that he was going to make an absolute fool of himself in front of his friends.

oh god, here came the paranoia.

"i-i'll be back." jack stammered before standing up, doing so a little too quickly and his vision completely leaving and he nearly fell over, but peter was quick to react and he got up as well, holding onto jack'a arms to keep the boy from crumbling to the ground, "jack, what's wrong?" he asked as jack's vision returned and the blonde wanted to respond, but his body had other ideas and his stomach lurched, so he awkwardly broke free from peter's grasp and did his best to make it to liz's bathroom so that he didn't puke all over her house.

thankfully, he made it up the stairs and into the bathroom just in time before his body completely lost it, vomit shooting up out of his throat and splashing into the sink, not able to make it to the toilet as he coughed over the ceramic basin, breathing heavy and shaking as his brain made it look like he was puking up blood; deep down jack knew that his eyes couldn't really be trusted right now, but what if, you know?

another disgusting spout of vomit poured out of his throat, his body feeling way too hot and cold at the same time and he couldn't stop shaking and everything just sucked and he was full of regret, his brain sort of registering that the door was opening and he felt a hand on his back, looking up and seeing a blurry reflection of peter in the mirror, "let's get you home."

"no, m'parents'll kill me."

"i'll take you to my place, okay? let's just get you outta here." peter cooed and jack swallowed thickly, giving a small nod and he took a few deep breaths, his stomach deciding that it was done and he turned the faucet on, attempting to clean up the sink but wasn't doing the best job and peter helped, cleaning up the best they could before the brunette guided his really fucked up friend down the stairs and out the front door, taking him to mj's car and helping him into the seat, "i'll be back in a minute, alright? just gotta get the others."

jack gave peter a lazy thumbs up as he leaned against the car door, closing his eyes and trying to stay relaxed, hoping this shitty high didn't last much longer.

  
**•••**

  
"easy bud, easy." peter cooed as he helped guide jack through his and his aunt's apartment, the blonde stumbling a little but not completely relying on peter for balance, still feeling like shit but less so than before; "is may home?" he whispered, hoping that he wouldn't make a fool of himself infront of another adult, "no, she's picking up a late shift at the hospital, don't worry."

jack followed peter into the brunette's bedroom, sitting down on the bottom bunk bed and managing to keep himself sat up right, peter tugging off jack's denim jacket and hanging it up on the ladder of the bunk, "you wanna borrow some clothes?" he asked as jack took his shirt off, revealing a pride patterned binder and he shrugged, "jus' some shorts would be nice."

peter nodded, going into his dresser drawers and jack kicked off his shoes after tugging his binder off and putting his shirt back on, pulling off his pants and scrunching his face up as his head spun from the movement; the psychedelic part of the high had died down in the car ride here but his body still felt like a lagging video game character, making him nauseous and tingly in a weird way.

yeah, he was never buying this shit again.

"need anything else?" peter asked kindly as he walked back over, handing jack some pajama shorts and the blonde slowly stood up, balancing himself against the bunk as he tugged the shorts on, "no, jus' needa lay down." he mumbled before plopping back down on the bed and peter smiled softly, turning around and getting changed into pajamas himself before laying down next to jack on the bed, "can i be honest with you, jack?"

jack hummed a little as he turned to look at his friend, letting peter know that he could continue and the brunette sighed, "sometimes the shit you do really scares me, and i'm not trying to make you feel guilty or anything, it's just......i dunno, you're just someone i care about and i don't want things to go wrong." he spoke before looking to jack, the two locking eyes and the blonde bit the inside of his cheek, not really knowing what to say as several memories flashed through his head, having had many conversations like this with someone that peter was starting to remind him of.

".......you know, i remember this one time back home, when i was like thirteen." he muttered, looking away from peter, "it was the night before i started highschool and to get me into a good mood, my parents took me and maggie out to eat, let us got whatever we wanted and i had a nice time, but then when everyone had already gone to bed and it was like, i dunno, midnight and i just couldn't get to sleep, i was thinking some real fucked up shit i guess because out of nowhere, i started freaking out, like i couldn't breathe and i was shaking and i think i screamed because my parents ran in, and once they realized they couldn't calm me down, they took me to the hospital to see if maybe something could happen there."

peter was completely silent as jack spoke, taking in every word and the blonde smiled a little, "they gave me liquid valium, to calm me down." he chuckled, but there wasn't really any humor in his tone, "and when the drugs kicked in, i realized that it was the feeling i've been wanting for so long; just something to make everything go quiet and make me feel like i was safe with my own thoughts." jack explained, letting out a sigh, "after that, i kept having panic attacks and they only got worse, my parents tried therapy but it just wasn't working because whoever i talked to didn't really care, like they had picked psychology as a last resort in college. so, we dropped that and then i met this guy who gave me a free sample......and here am i."

jack turned to peter, giving the brunette a gentle smile but it faltered quickly, "......this is the only thing that's ever worked for me and yeah, it's fucked up and will it kill me? maybe, maybe not, i don't know; i tried to stop and then it blew up in my face, so......i'm stuck." he sighed before turning onto his side, facing his whole body towards peter, "you still wanna be my friend, peter?"

peter turned his body torwards jack as well, putting his arms around the blonde and pulling him towards his chest for a hug, not saying anything but jack didn't really need him to, melting into the brunette's embrace and cuddling up to him, letting his eyes fall shut.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️ WARNING ⚠️
> 
> there's some kinda noncon with an adult and jack, nothing really happens but there's some touching that is creepy so tread lightly!

"my name is meg, and i'm an addict."

"hello meg." jack muttered along with the crowd, sitting in the back of a church's auditorium because he was being forced to attend a narcotics anonymous meeting every wednesday, looking at the woman at the front of the room who was leaning against a podium that didn't have a microphone, sharing her story with a room of other addicts; jack had a strong feeling that he was the only one still using, all this other people were older than him by a few years, most of them way out of highschool, and they had gotten their act together somehow.

sometimes jack would wonder if that'd ever happen to him, but he didn't count on it.

"not only was an i addict, i was a nurse; i guess i thought that as long as i was helping people and saving lives, i was more than welcome to destroy my own. but, you know, doing good things doesn't make you a good person or a reason to do terrible things, it's not like it evens out or anything." meg spoke, her words causing guilt to flood through jack's body and he looked down, knowing that she was more than correct and it's not like he wasn't ashamed of himself for being this way, "drugs can take away a lot; family, friends....your own life."

jack swallowed thickly, knowing thay it was almost his life that got taken away if the ambulance drivers or doctors weren't fast enough.....or if maggie hadn't found him on his bedroom floor, covered in his own vomit and barely breathing after taking a little too much oxy and probably some other shit that he bought, he couldn't remember and its not like he wanted to; the knowledge that it even happened was fucked enough.

"thank you." meg smiled softly to the crowd after she finished speaking, snapping jack out of his thoughts and he lazily clapped with the rest of the crowd, his heart picking up speed as he realized that he was the only one who hadn't shared yet, having only shared his name and age with the crowd but not his story. 

the nice thing about leslie, the woman running the meetings, was that she wasn't going to force you to speak if you weren't ready, and jack had only been to four meetings; he just didn't have the courage to speak up, but he knew that the longer he stayed quiet that the more awkward it would be for him to attend and the more pressure he would feel to share.

so, he rose to his feet and walked up to the front of the room, turning to face the crowd of people and raising a hand in a wave, "hello, i'm jack...and i'm an addict."

"hello jack."

"and i've been clean for seven weeks."

of course, that was a lie, he had literally gotten high earlier that day, but admitting such a shameful thing to this crowd of people who have struggled through so much worse and still kept themselves clean was something he wasn't willing to do.

"um, i'm not from here actually; i grew up in lebanon, a small town in kansas with my parents and my little sister." jack started, not sure how much he was going to share but knowing that he had to give a main idea of why he was here, "i-i started using when i was fifteen, i met a guy and things kinda snowballed from there, but i kept it hidden for a long time......until i took a little too much one night and i don't know much about what happened, but i woke up a week later from a coma; the next thing i knew, i was in the back of my dad's truck as we followed a moving van on a not-so-fun roadtrip to our new home in queens."

jack swallowed, fiddling with the sobriety coin in his hands that he was handed earlier that day, "i haven't been here long, but i've made friends with some great people and while i miss kansas, i know that being here is better for me and my family want me to heal, so that's what i'm doing......thank you." he finished, walking back to his seat as everyone clapped for him.

  
**•••**

  
jack stepped out of the church, the sky having gone dark and all the streetlamps now on, making sure people could see where they were going, making his way to his bike that was locked to the stairway railing that led out into the parking lot, meg leaning against said railing and a couple feet away from his bike, smoking a cigarette and drinking the coffee that was offered at the end of the meeting.

"jack, right?" the dark haired woman asked as he approached his bike, jack fished into his pocket to get his keychain as he hummed to confirm her question, "seven weeks is not easy, good for you, bery moving share as well." she smiled and jack smiled back before unlocking his bike, "thank you." he mumbled, unsure if she was meaning her words or if she was just trying to make him feel less awkward, "can i ask you something?"

".....sure."

"how'd you survive that od?"

jack looked up from his bike, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked to the adult, "whaddya mean?"

"somebody had to find you, right?"

"oh, uh.....my little sister, she found me."

"how old?" meg asked, prolonging this conversation for some reason that jack wasn't aware of but it wasn't like he could just ignore her, "she turned fourteen right before we moved here." he informed and meg nodded as she dragged on her cigarette, "that's some heavy shit, but hey, we've all done terrible shit; comes with the territory." she shrugged and jack nodded, watching as she put out her cigarette on the ashtray that was above the trash can, tossing her cup too, "it's just, you can't really help but think about what that does to a teenager that's barely a teenager, finding her big brother overdosed....what that moment would do to somebody."

jack stayed silent, fiddling with his keychain as meg spoke, "it affects them, you know? their ability to trust, to get close to people and form relationships. living with a fear that things can be taken away from them at any moment, losing everything......you ever think about that?"

"......yeah, pretty often."

"you're gonna have to make peace with that, though, because one day she will be better.....just like you will be, even though you say otherwise."

jack's eyes widened a little, but he tried to not show his shock at being found out, "i-i don't know what you're talking about."

"listen, kid." meg started, stepping closer as she crossed her arms over her chest, "i'm not saying that everyone knows that you aren't actually seven weeks in, but i'm saying that i know and you realize that eventually i won't be the only one who knows, right?" she mumbled and jack sighed, knowing that she had a point and meg reached into her pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper and handing it to jack, "let me know when you wanna stop trying to kill yourself and get some pancakes, alright?"

before jack could even reply, meg was walking away and the blonde unfolded the notebook paper, seeing her name and number scrolled out onto it and he folded it back up, shoving it in his pocket before climbing onto his bike and going home.

  
**•••**

  
"how was the meeting?" kelly asked as jack passed by his parents' bedroom, the door open and his mom sitting up on their bed, folding laundry, "uh....good, i celebrated seven weeks today." he mumbled, holding up the coin and kelly smiled, "i'm really proud of you, jack."

jack thanked her before making his way to his bedroom, stopping as he saw that maggie's door was open a bit and he peaked inside, seeing his sister laying in bed and watching something on her laptop, the blonde gently knocking on the door as he pushed it open, "hey, whatcha doing?" he asked and maggie looked up, "uh, nothing really, catching up on grump videos i missed."

jack chuckled, "mind if join?" he asked and maggie shrugged, so he walked over and laid on the bed with her, putting his head on her shoulder and looking up at the screen to see the two idiots that he introduced his sister to trying to do acrylic pours and failing horribly, "....hey, mags?"

"yeah?"

"i love you."

maggie smiled, "i love you too, jack." she muttered and jack smiled, going silent and watching the screen with his sister.

  
**•◇•**

  
jack and peter parked their bikes outside of the corner store that they both went to multiple times a week, walking inside and seeing fez at the counter, the bell ringing above their heads as they opened the door and getting the man's attention, "it's thing one and two." he muttered with a smile, peter chuckling as he went to get the items he wanted, "aaron in the back?"

"nah man, not today."

"fuck." jack cursed as he went to grab the drink that he bought everytime he came to this shop, knowing that he was pretty low but hopefully he could swing by tomorrow, bringing his item up to the counter and handing it to fez, "i can give you his place if you want, if you're in need then i'll let him now that you needa swing by." the dealer muttered as he rung jack up, "that'd be awesome, thank you."

fez scribbled down an address and handed it to jack, taking the money for his drink as he did so, peter walking up to the counter and putting his items down, quickly paying before the two left, going back out to their bikes, "hey, uh, you wanna come over for dinner tonight?"

"sorry, may and i have plans for dinner already." peter replied and jack nodded, "well, maybe tomorrow or something because my parents are like.......asking to meet you and stuff." he mumbled and peter got a huge smile as he clikbed onto his bike, "you telling your parents about me?" he teased and jack blushed, looking down, "shut up, asshole."

"i'll let you know when i can come over, hopefully tomorrow."

jack nodded, peter waving as he biked away and jack waved back, looking at the address fez gave him before climbing onto his bike and riding to aaron's place.

  
**•••**

  
jack parked his bike outside of aaron's house, locking it to the stairs before walking up to the door, knocking on it, "who's there?!" he heard aaron shout from inside, "it's jack, fez said he told you i'd be coming by!" he answered and it didn't take long before the door was unlocked, the blonde hesitantly opening the door and stepping inside, being instantly smacked in the face by the smell of weed mixed with tobacco.

"you running low?"

"yeah, i just need some oc's and some xannies and then i'm gone."

"you got it, kid. take a seat, i'll bring your shit in a second." aaron muttered before leaving the room, jack walking into the main room and sitting down on one of the couches, putting his backpack down on the floor and looking around the room, taking in the area, realizing that aaron's house was rather similar to his actually; a small living room with a tv and two small couches with a coffee table in the middle, the living room conjoined with a kitchen that was a little messy with a round table in between one of the couches and the kitchen counter, and jack assumed that down the hall were bedrooms and bathrooms but that wasn't an area he was going to infiltrate.

it didn't take long before aaron came back with a ziploc bag with little dime bags filled with narcotics inside, dropping it in jack's lap as he told jack the price, the blonde pulling out his wallet and giving aaron the money, shoving his items into his backpack and standing up, aaron's phone ringing as he did so and the dealer looked at his phone, "shit, shit, shit." he cursed and jack turned to him, "what's wrong?"

"look, i haven't known you for that long, but you have to trust me right now, okay?"

jack froze, suddenly getting really worried but he nodded, something in the way aaron was speaking made hin feel like shit was about to get serious, "my supplier is right outside, like literally, and i just need you to sit down and stay quiet."

"wouldn't it be better for me to leave?"

aaron shook his head, obviously stressed, and jack sat back down, putting his backpack down on the ground again and placing his hands in his lap, aaron coming over to the couch and digging in between the cushions beside jack, pulling out a gun and making sure it was loaded before cocking it, the blonde's heart leaping into his throat; jack was totally fine with drugs and dealing with them until the guns come into the mess.

"these guys ain't fucking playing around, i mean it when i say sit down, stay quiet, and be cool, got it?"

all jack could do was nod, honestly terrified as aaron put the gun back into the couch and went to the door, opening it and jack heard someone speak, not able to make out the words but the tone sent a chill down his spine, "i see we gotta new face up in here." a man spoke and jack could hear him walk towards the couches, looking up to see a man with tattoos on his face and hands dressed in all black and a lot of leather, "didn't know you were into twinks, man."

jack tensed up, looking down at his lap and squeezing his hands together, incredibly uncomfortable, "nah, it ain't like that, he's just a friend." aaron responded, sitting down at the couch across from jack and the tattooed man bent down as he put his hand out in front of jack, "name's mouse." he smiled in a kind of creepy way and jack went to shake his hand, but the hand shake turned into mouse kissing his hand.

maybe aaron wasn't "into twinks", but mouse seemed to be and jack had never wanted to run away from something so fast in his life, "you gotta name, angel?"

"j-jack......my name's jack."

"pleasure to meet you." he smiled before standing, "yo, cuss, toss me that bag!" mouse called and jack looked behind him, seeing a younger dealer toss a backpack over to mouse, hearing pills rattle inside of it, "aight, check it." mouse spoke before listing the items he had in the bag, pulling them out onto the kitchen table and jack's eyes widened at the large amount of drugs on the table, turning away from the strange men and seeing aaron pull out a folded up bag from his pocket, tossing it to "cuss" who pulled out a stack of cash from the paper bag.

"you sure you don't want no fentanyl?"

"nah man, i'm done with that shit; too many ods."

mouse nodded walking over to jack, "what about you, angel? you ever try fentanyl?" he asked as he sat down on the couch next to the blonde, getting a little too close for comfort but its not like jack was going to say anything, "uh, n-no, never." he stammered, "he's good, bro." aaron answered and jack got the feeling that he _really_ didn't want him to try fentanyl, "you gonna let this guy talk for you?" mouse asked as he brushed a bit of jack's hair behind his ear, the boy looking up at aaron as he stammered for an answer.

"i-i, uh--"

"don't look at him, look at me." mouse interrupted and jack hesitantly looked over, "for real, mouse, i don't want him fucking with that shit." aaron pressed but mouse ignored him, leaning towards jack's ear and speaking in a hush, "you know that feeling when you cum so hard that you go numb? you like that feeling?" he asked and jack remained quiet, having no idea how to respond to that and he saw mouse pull out a pocket knife, "well shit, you'll love this."

jack watched as the man took out a small packet, squeezing a drop of liquid onto the tip of his pocket knife before putting the knife in front of jack's face, "i-i'm good, actually." he mumbled, but mouse wasn't having it; "what? you don't trust me, baby?"

jack held back the urge to cringe, those words making him feel kinda nauseous, and aaron spoke up once again; "seriously, he's good."

"shut the fuck up, bitch, i ain't talking to you!"

mouse moved the knife closer to jack's mouth, "c'mon, don't be scared, it ain't gonna bite ya, just try it." he cooed, pressuring jack as much as he could, resting his arm on the boy's shoulder and practically putting the knife to his lips, the blonde taking a deep breath; jack knew that he's been such a cunt to a lot of people and he's fucked up so many things in the lives of those that he loved, but he found himself praying to whatever gods or goddesses that watched over this fucked up world and practically begging them to make sure that what he was about to do wouldn't destroy everything or worse.

jack leaned forward, putting the tip of the knife with fentanyl on it in his mouth and licking it off, much to mouse's liking and aaron's fear; not even a minute after pulling away, he could feel his entire body get tingly and heavy, too heavy to sit up and he slowly laid down onto the couch, "it hits quick, huh?" mouse smirked, hopefully not expecting a response because there was no way that jack would be able to form a sentence as he was in the fucking clouds right now, riding on an incredible high.

jack felt mouse's large hands on one of his legs, this being one of the very few days that he was wearing shorts so the heat from the man's hands went into his skin as his right leg was pulled into the man's lap; if he were sober, he'd be kicking and screaming, but his body was way too heavy for him to move on his own, barely even able to keep his eyes open, "you like how that feels?"

".....yeah....."

"you wanna couple a'patches, angel?"

"mm....'kay."

jack heard rustling before mouse slid something into his shorts pocket, putting a hand on his lower thigh and gently stroking the bare skin with his thumb, "that'll be three hundred." mouse informed, the blonde knowing damn well he didn't have that kind of money, "i....i only have like.....two bucks.....i'll jus' give it back."

"i gotta strict no return policy, but you could pay me in other ways?"

now, jack wasn't anywhere near coherent enough to understand the implications that mouse was giving him, all he knew right now was that he felt fucking _incredible_ and he will want to feel it again; "oh.......tha's good, i'll jus' do that."

aaron, who was freaking the fuck out because he knew exactly what mouse was asking for, spoke up, "yo, mouse, lemme pay for it."

mouse scoffed, "thought you was too good for fentanyl? is everybody changing their fucking minds on me?" he spat before turning to cuss, who just chuckled, "he said he'll pay me, just not with cash."

aaron got up, digging into his pocket and pulling out a few hundreds, "i got the cash right here, man." he spoke before handing it to mouse, who counted the money, "well, in that case, it'll cost you _six_ hundred." mouse smirked and while aaron scoffed, he pulled out the extra cash and handed it to the man, who counted it and whistled, "damn angel, your "friend" must really love you."

mouse took jack's leg off his lap, standing up and pocketing his money, "always a pleasure doing business with you." he smirked before him and cuss grabbed their shit, leaving the house and as soon as the door shut, aaron let out relieved sigh before getting up and walking over to jack, removing the fentanyl patches from his shorts and putting in his own pockets, grabbing a blanket from the other couch and laying it over the barely-awake teenager before sitting down on the couch beside him, extremely angry at himself for letting this happen.

"i'm.......so happy."

"i know, kid, i know."

aaron waited for jack to fall asleep, knowing that the high would eventually reach the point where he would just knock out, before getting up and pulling out his phone, calling someone that he knew would not only be able to help with jack but would be the person jack would want to be with when he woke back up.

"yo, its aaron. listen......i fucked up and need some help; it's about jack."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the f-slur is used once, idk just thought i'd mention that.

everything was still foggy, even though it was several hours and jack had woken up from an incredibly deep sleep, the fentanyl having knocked him the fuck out and the last thing he remembers was being on aaron's couch, but now he was in peter's bedroom in the same clothes that he was in when he woke up so someone must have called someone. 

honestly, jack was just glad he woke up at all because while the high was amazing, the extreme risk of od was there and it's not like mouse was trustworthy.

jack rolled onto his back, looking around and seeing that peter wasn't in the room, the blonde slowly sitting up and pulling his knees to his chest, clinging to the blanket around him and resting his head in his folded arms, letting out a heavy sigh and trying to keep calm as he realized that everyone was going to be on his ass once he got home. actually, peter was probably going to be on his ass too, considering the fact that he could've died for succumbing to peer pressure, but it's extremely hard to deny a dude with a switchblade up to your mouth and a gun in his pocket.

the sound of footsteps caused jack to look up, seeing the door creak open and peter walk back into the room, headphones in and on his phone, but once the brunette looked up and realized that jack was awake, he put his phone and ran over to his friend, attacking him in a tight hug much to jack's surprise, but the blonde hugged back after a moment.

"jesus fucking christ, jack." peter mumbled into jack's shoulder, his voice wavering as if he was close to tears and jack's heart dropped, guilt filling his stomach and he pulled away, looking at peter as the boy sat down on the bed, "that was the scariest fucking thing, dude, like aaron just called me out of nowhere and said he fucked up and that you needed help and when i came, you were like passed the fuck out on his couch and--"

"peter, woah, breathe." jack interrupted, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder as tears came into peter's eyes, the brunette putting his head in his hands and sniffling, seconds away from losing it and jack hated that he was the reason why peter was crying, "i'm okay, peter. i'm right here and i'm okay."

"are you okay though, jack?"

".......yeah?"

peter looked back up, "the fact that you replied with a question revealed more than you thought it would." he sighed and jack put his hands in his lap, "i'm sorry." he muttered, "i know you are and i forgive you, but jack......you can't keep this going."

"what do you mean?"

"this. the drugs---i know that this is something you can't just give up, but it's so fucked and you're putting yourself in such danger and i'm terrified that someone will call me to say that you died because some creep gave you something that didn't do what he said it would do."

jack stayed quiet, looking down at his lap and pressing his knuckles into his palm, only for peter to put a hand on top of his, "jack, i love you, okay? i love you and i just want you to be alive and safe. it's not like i'm pissed at you for whats happened, i just care about you so much and i want you to have a way to cope that won't get you killed." he cooed and jack looked up, "i love you too, but.......it's not like i can just drop it immediately, peter."

"i know that and i'm more than willing to help you get to the point where you can say that you're clean and happy."

"that could take forever."

"i said i was willing to help, didn't i?"

a small smile appeared on jack's face and he looked down at their hands, "okay......i'll work on it." he muttered and peter leaned forward, hugging his friend tightly and jack hugged back, burying his face in peter's shoulder; there was mild deja vu feeling in jack's chest, having had a conversation like this several months ago that wasn't as.......calm, but had a similar result.

the faint sound of jack's phone vibrating made him remember that his family didn't know what the fuck was going on and he sighed, knowing what he had to ask and he pulled away, looking up at peter, "......i'm sorry to kill the mood, but i have a favor to ask."

  
**•••**

  
jack very carefully opened his house's front door, praying to whoever the fuck that the door wouldn't creak as he pushed it open, slowly shutting it behind him as he snuck back into his house at five in the morning, knowing that once his parents saw him that he was going to get the lecture of his fucking life.

guess that's just what happens when you take drugs from a dude who was a fucking creep and probably had a criminal record a mile long.

jack slowly tiptoed down the hall, trying to make it to his room without being caught but the hallway light turned on and he froze in place, knowing that he was fucked; "where were you?" he heard castiel ask sternly and he turned around, "uh, my phone died and---"

"bullshit, jack, you're doing drugs."

"i'm not doing drugs."

"then where have you been? and why weren't you answering your phone? and why are you sneaking into the house?"

jack didn't really know how to formulate a lie, as he was still really groggy and sorta hungover, "i was.....with someone." he tried as he looked up at his dad, who was practically fuming, "who?"

"it doesn't matter--"

"it fucking matters, jack!" castiel spat, keeping his voice a little hushed so that people weren't woken up by their argument, "it matters a lot, actually, because you're doing drugs even though we--" he rambled, stopping as maggie's bedroom door creaked open and the teenager stepped out of her room, in pajamas, "maggie, go back to sleep."

maggie looked up at her older brother, fidgeting with her fingers, "are....are you okay, jack?"

"yeah mags, i'm okay, you can go back to sleep."

"he's okay baby, go back to bed." castiel cooed as maggie walked back into her room, shutting the door behind his daughter before taking a deep breath, turning to jack and walking over to him, "i will not allow you to sneak back into our house and five in the goddamn morning and lie to me; where were you?"

jack just sighed, rubbing a hand over his face, "dad, i really don't wanna tell you everything that i've dealt with; if you wanna know the truth, then just drug test me." he mumbled with a shrug and castiel clenched his jaw, "fine." he breathed out and the two walked to the bathroom, castiel going under the sink and pulling out a drug test with a sample cup, handing the cup to jack before turning around.

the blonde pulled his shorts down before sitting on the toilet, squeezing the bottle that was taped to his thigh because thankfully peter was willing to help, standing up and pulling his shorts back on after finishing "his" business and placing the cup on the counter, castiel turning around and placing the test inside, the two of them sitting in silence as they waited for the results.

once the results read "negative", just like jack lmew they would, castiel let out a frustrated sigh and he left the room, "you're still grounded until i don't even fucking know." he spoke and jack shrugged as he followed his father out the room, "i told you i wasn't lying." the blonde called before going into his room, ripping the taped bottle off his thigh and tossing it into the trash, flopping down onto his bed and staring up at the ceiling.

looks like he was going to start getting clean.

  
**•◇•**

  
thankfully, jack's grounding didn't last too long, just a little over two weeks before castiel and him had a talk where it was half a lecture, but the conversation had a happy ending at least; the worst part about being grounded was that after he told peter he was going to try and get clean, he was stuck in a room that had a drawer full of opiates inside of it; it's not like he didn't try, he didn't want to let peter down, but by the end of those two weeks, his stash was completely gone. 

now, with no narcotics in his possession, jack had a huge decision to make; was he actually going to start to get clean or give into temptation and hand over a stack of cash to aaron? that question was going to be answered after school because he had money in his wallet to spend, but he was also going to be spending time with the boy who he told he would try and get clean, so it all depended on how the rest of the day went.

"do you know when you'll be home tonight?" maggie asked as she stopped at the bike racks, her and jack's bikes locked to the bars and sitting beside bikes that belonged to other students, "i dunno, peter and i are gonna hang out for awhile, but i will be home." the blonde shrugged as maggie unlocked her bike, "okay, just....be careful, you know?" she muttered and jack smiled, "i'll be fine, mags, don't worry."

the younger teen smiled at her brother, giving him a quick hug before climbing onto her bike and riding off, jack sitting on the ramp railing as he waited for peter to come meet him by the bikes, it not taking long before he saw his friend amongst the ocean of students, the brunette seeing jack and running over to him, hugging him tightly and jack grunted as he did so, hugging back and chuckling a little; "i feel like i haven't seen you in forever."

"i saw you at lunch, peter."

peter pulled away, crossing his arms as he did so, "no, i mean, like, you weren't able to hang out for so long and i missed you and shit." he muttered and jack smiled, "i missed you too, idiot, lets go to your place and fuck around."

  
**•••**

  
"when i said "lets go to your place and fuck around", i didn't think you'd do this to me."

peter laughed at jack's comment, looking up at his friend as the blonde stood awkwardly in front of peter's closet, "dude, you look fucking amazing." the brunette commented and jack stammered for a response, "peter....i am...... _deeply_ uncomfortable, right now."

it's not that the clothes that peter had forced him into was bad; a long sleeved crop top that was striped blue, pink, and white with three buttons coming down from the collar, it's just that the shirt was barely longer than his binder and a little tighter than he wished, "you dress like a tiktok eboy already, why is a crop top too much for you?"

jack crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at his painted and ripped jeans, "i don't dress like a tiktok eboy."

"have you fucking seen the inside of your closet? its nothing but band shirts and jeans, and its all black!"

"i have other colors in my closet!...they're just also dark."

peter scoffed, standing up and going over to jack, "hey, i'm not hating on your style, but you look great in this shirt and there is nothing wrong with wearing something with light colors on it every once in awhile." the brunette cooed as he put his hands on jack's shoulders, "it's not the color, it's the fact that it's not a baggy tshirt that i can hide in." he muttered and peter smiled, "you can take it off if you want, but i still get finish this."

"how are you gonna finish "this"?"

peter went into his desk drawers as jack sat down on the bed, seeing his friend pull out makeup stuff and feeling a little shocked because peter didn't seem like the person to wear makeup, but you learn something new everyday apparently; "get ready to feel fucking fabulous." the brunette smiled as he turned around, holding brushes and a box that held a ton of makeup, sitting down on the bed and putting the box down, opening it up and grabbing makeup.

"you gonna tell me what you're gonna put on my face?"

"nope, now lay down and close your eyes."

jack sighed, but did as he was told and lais down, shutting his eyes and feeling peter start putting makeup on his eyelids, "this is the gayest thing we've ever done." he mumbled and peter chuckled, "could be gayer." he joked and jack smiled, the room going silent and the only sound being the music playing from peter's laptop.

it had been so damn long since jack had felt something like this; a calm and pleasant silence that wasn't created by a pill, but instead made between him and a friend just doing something together that they thought was fun to do, not having to worry about things as he could just let himself be in the moment.

he had only met someone like peter once before, but there was things that were strikingly different between the two and jack hoped that he wasn't just falling into another trap because he couldn't deny the fact that peter was becoming more than a friend in his eyes, and the last time this happened it caused his family to move to queens.

it was like his brain and heart wanted to be destroyed.

"done!" peter announced an unknown amount of time later, jack opening his eyes hesitantly and looking up to see a very smiley teenager, obviously very proud of his work, "go look at yourself." he smiled and jack stood up, walking over to the mirror by peter's closet and looking at his reflection; red eyeshadow surrounded his eyes, a wing of eyeliner on both lids and glitter dusted on with it, little multicolored flower stickers around his eyelids, blush on his cheeks with some tiny stars drawn on his cheekbones with eyeliner.

"i got kinda carried away."

jack giggled, admiring the makeup that peter had fun doing, "i can tell." he smiled and he could see peter walk up behind him in the mirror, "i like it, though." he smiled before turning around and the brunette smiled back, "you look adorable." he commented and jack blushed, looking down, "shut up."

"no, because it's true."

jack looked back up at peter, the two smiling like idiots at each other and the blonde pressed his lips together as he realized how close the two were, his heart telling him to do something incredibly stupid and just close the tiny dpace between them, and jack expected his brain to deny the action, but it seemed to think that moving forward was a pretty good idea.

_just do it, you coward!_

jack slowly leaned forward before he grabbed peter's arms and slammed his lips into the brunette's, creating a very sloppy kiss and jack's heart was slamming in his chest, it cheering at the fact that he had listened to it and then his brain realized that this was _not_ a good idea and he pulled away, looking at peter and his heart dropping at the shock on the boy's face; fuck, what had he done?!

"i-i'm sorry." he stammered, realizing how stupid he was for thinking that kissing peter was an okay thing to do, his eyes flooding with tears at the silence in the room, "i'm sorry, i-i should go." he rushed out before grabbing his backpack and his jacket, forgetting that he was wearing peter's shirt as he rushed out the door, cursing himself out for being such a fucking idiot and destroying something so good.

  
**•◇•**

  
jack banged on aaron's front door, hoping to god that the man was home as he stood on his porch, probably looking like a complete clown to the anyone who was watching; "who is it?!" aaron shouted from inside, "it's me." jack responded and it wasn't long before the door opened to reveal aaron, who didn't look happy to see jack and also a little taken aback by the boy's appearance.

jack didn't blame him though, he was covered in makeup and tears and wearing a shirt that didn't belong to him, "not today, jack, sorry." the dealer mumbled and the blonde took a breath, "i-i just need a few o.c's and i'll be gone." he replied shakily but aaron didn't budge, "sorry kid, i can't help you."

"aaron, it's been a really weird fucking day and i got money for you, so can you just give me some fucking drugs? you don't even need to bring me inside, i'll just--"

"i'm not gonna help you kill yourself, jack."

jack's eyes widened at aaron's response, shocked to be hearing that from a fuckimg drug dealer, "i'm sorry, but you can't be coming over here no more, alright? just go home." he added and jack froze for a second but then aaron started to close to the door and he panicked, "aaron! wait, please don't--! fuck!" he cried as the door shut in front of him, banging a hand against it. "aaron, please open the door." he tried, but was just met with silence, "aaron! i-i'm begging you, just open the door!"

more silence was given and rage boiled inside of jack's chest, pissed at himself for being a fucking faggot who just has to fall in love with every friend he makes and aaron for not doing his goddamn job, "are you fucking kidding me?! you make your damn living off of selling drugs to teenagers! open the door!" he shouted, banging his fists against the wooden door, not getting an answer and he clenched his jaw, "are you doing this because you fucking care about me?! you've known me for three fucking months and the only damn information you have on me is what i order from you and fez! when the fuck did you decide to give a shit about me?!"

jack felt like an asshole, knowing that the shit he was saying now would be meaningless angry word vomit in the future but now he just wanted some fucking drugs because his motivation to get clean probably wanted to avoid him at all costs; "open the fucking door!"

"i can't, jack."

"open the door! open the door!"

jack's voice was starting to give, the screaming taking its toll and his voice getting crackly, tears filled his eyes yet again and he didn't try to hide his sobs, breaking down on his dealer's porch with the knowledge that everything was falling apart in front of him, "open the door." he begged, shaking and crying, "my life is already fucking ruined, so just open the door and fucking fix it!" the blonde cried, makeup running down his face as he failed to hold himself together, "please."

".........i'm sorry."

jack heard footsteps fade away and he let out an angry roar, slamming his fists into the door, "open the fucking door, aaron!" he cried, kicking and punching the wood, screaming and begging for aaron to come back and sell him the drugs he desperately craved, knowing deep down that he wasn't going to get a response no matter how much he cursed and cried but he kept trying until his knuckles bled and he couldn't scream anymore.

jack crumpled to the ground, resting his head against the door and sobbing, just wanting something to work out for once in his fucking life.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are getting Gₐᵧ and they're gonna be that way for the rest of forever.

"i'm not really.....motivated to do anything. like, there isn't anything i want to pursue or a plan that i have for myself." jack mumbled, knees to his chest as he stared down at the table, "that's kinda depressing i guess, but i feel like a lotta people i've met are like that. not here because i go to a goody-two-shoes school for some fucking reason, but back in kansas; nobody gave a shit. like they were just there, going through life without a fucking idea. i dunno, maybe that's how it is for everyone but just everyone around me has a plan and they know what they're gonna do next--"

"jack."

"---like they have a college picked out a whole fucking career plan and i'm just over here with no damn clue--"

" _jack_."

jack stopped his rant at meg's call, snapping out of a minor daze and looking up from his small plate of pancakes to the woman that he called earlier, concern in her eyes as she looked at this teenager who was covered in tears with messed up makeup and bloody bruised knuckles.

"why'd you call me?" she asked and jack bit his cheek, "honestly? i didn't have anyone else to call." he mumbled, picking up his fork and poking at his food, "what happened? was it your parents?" meg asked and jack shook his head, "no, nothing happened with them, it's just......i dunno, it's stupid."

meg nodded, but she wasn't going to let this go, "you know, drug addicts don't really reach out unless they're completely fucked, so.......how about you tell me why we're sitting in a diner at eight on a friday?"

jack sighed, putting his legs down underneath table and putting his backpack in his lap, hugging it to his chest, "uh......i was with my best friend, like we hang out every day we can and we talk all the time. and today, we were at his house and we were talking and i misread the situation and now......i'm afraid that i lost the best thing to ever to me in, like....ever." he explained, holding back the urge to cry again because he was terrified that his friendship with peter was destroyed.

"does the way he made you feel remind you of anything?"

jack bit the inside of his cheek, knowing what meg was implying but peter didn't remind him of that, he reminded him of someone not something; "this is a good thing, though."

"didn't drugs feel really good when you tried them?" meg asked and jack sighed, nodding, "but, it isn't like that. i've had that feeling with someone else before and that......that got really messed up and he's a good thing compared to that. he even said he wanted to help me get better and.....and this relationship hasn't hurt me like the other things did." he explained, knowing that drugs and peter were completely different feelings, able to see the differences in his addiction versus his relationship.

"sounds like this kid's pretty great."

jack smiled a little, "yeah, he is."

"then what makes you think you've ruined your relationship? surely, if he's such a great person then he won't be angry or hate you or some shit, right?"

jack opened his mouth to respond, only to realize that he didn't have a response and he closed his mouth, pressing his lips into a line and looking down at the table, "i'd suggest talking to him, but i feel like you already know that you have to do that." meg smiled and jack looked up, "you sound like my mom."

"i'll take that as a compliment."

  
**•◇•**

  
jack walked up to his front door, hoping that he wouldn't be ambushed with questions from his parents because it was nine at night and he hadn't even touched his phone since calling meg, maybe he'll get lucky and they'll both be asleep. but, as jack opened the door, he saw the tv was on and both his parents were on the couch, their heads turning and looking to the front door to see their son wearing a shirt that wasn't his and covered in makeup that had tear tracts in it.

"........hello."

kelly was immediately out of her seat, castiel following her lead as she walked over to her eldest, "oh baby, what happened?" she cooed as she put a hand on his cheek, looking at his face and jack didn't really know what to say, "i....i just had a bad day." he mumbled, not sure how to explain to his parents that he ran away from his friend in a panic and nearly broke down his ex-dealer's door because he wouldn't sell him drugs, "maggie said you were with peter, did he do something?"

"no, no. h-he did nothing, i.....i don't wanna talk about it."

"okay, do you.....do you need something?"

jack shrugged, "i think i just need a shower." he muttered and kelly nodded with a soft smile, "me and dad are right here if you need us, okay?" she cooed and jack nodded, smiling a bit before walking away from his parents and towards the bathroom, locking the door and turning the shower on, getting a glimspe at himself in the mirror for the first time since leaving peter's; the beautiful makeup that peter had done was ruined by tear stains and smudged up, his eyes bloodshot and tired.

wow, he was a fucking wreck.

the blonde pulled off his clothes, tossing them into a pile on the floor before stepping into the steaming shower, mindlessly sitting down on the floor and pulling his knees to his chest, resting his head on his hands as he let the hot water pour over him.

  
**•••**

  
jack looked up from his laptop as a knock sounded through his room, muttering a "come in" and watching the door slowly be pushed open as his father walked, "hey dad." he mumbled, sitting up a bit as he got the feeling that castiel wanted to talk, pausing the video he was watching, "hey, you feeling better?" the man asked and jack shrugged, "guess so, i feel clean at least."

castiel smiled, stepping further into jack's room and going over to the bed, sitting down on the edge and jack could tell he wasn't really sure how to bring up whatever topic he was wanting to, "uh.....you know that whatever you go through, me and your mother are here for you right?"

"yeah, i know."

"and, i know that i can be kind of a dick sometimes, but i just want you to be okay."

"you're just doing what you have to." he shrugged and castiel smiled, standing up and bending over, kissing his son's forehead, "i love you, so much." he mumbled as he gave jack's shoulder a loving squeeze, "love you too, dad." the blonde replied and castiel smiled, leaving the room and shutting the door behind him.

  
**•◇•**

  
jack stared at the front doors of his school, knowing that someone was waiting for him inside and there was no way that he could avoid this embarrassing interaction and he took a deep breath, walking through the doors and making his way through a loud building full of teenagers, heart racing in his chest as he anxiously waited for his eyes to land on a certain student with a mop of brown hair on his head.

as jack turned a corner, he felt someone grab his arm and quickly pull him into the bathroom, freaking out as his mind raced as to who the hell would grab him like that until he looked at the person, only to see peter quickly locking the door to the empty bathroom so that it stayed empty, "this isn't the most ideal place, but i just needed to talk to you before i lost my mind." the brunette explained before turning around, jack's heart pounding harder as he stared at his friend like a fool.

peter looked a little freaked out too, but he was clearly holding it together much more than jack was considering that he was actually able to speak and he wasn't just gawking, "okay, uh.......how do i say this..." peter trailed off, making jack panic and his brain seemed to catch up enough for him to form words, "if you don't want to be around me anymore, i won't be angry. i completely understand why you would, i mean i made you extremely uncomfortable and not to mention that i--"

jack's sentence was cut off as peter moved forward, putting a hand on the back of jack's head and pulling him into a kiss, kind of sloppily slamming their lips together and the blonde froze for a moment, unsure if what was happening was actually happening, but then he relaxed from his shock and his arms found their way around peter's waist, stomach full of happy little butterflies as he leaned into the kiss, it not being long before peter pulled away.

"when i said that i loved you, i meant it, jack."

jack let out a laugh, just overwhelmed by emotions and he rested his head on peter's shoulder, hugging the brunette tightly, "i'm still really sorry for just fucking running out like that, i was just freaked out and fight or flight kicked in and just.......i'm a fucking idiot and i love you too."

"we're both idiots, don't worry about it."

  
**•◇•**

  
jack parked his bike outside of the church, seeing meg sitting on the steps outside and smoking a cigarette as she waited for the meeting to start, "how goes it?" the woman asked as she noticed jack locking up his bike and he looked up at her, smiling a little before finishing with his bike and walking over to her, sitting on the steps next to her, "a lot better then when you saw me last."

"i take it that you and your friend's conversation went okay?"

"so much better than i thought it would go........like a _lot_ better."

"good for you, kiddo." meg smiled as she dragged on her cigarette, getting the "we're dating now" hints that jack was dropping, "not to be a downer, but have you thought ahead?" she asked and jack looked at her, "what do you mean?"

"well, you're a senior, right? so, what's gonna happen eight months when he moves away and goes to college? when you can't be with him as much as you are now?"

jack shrugged, "i don't know, i mean we've talked about the colleges he's aiming for and they're all relatively close.......we've talked about living together before, though. so, if he gets an apartment near mit then i go too, if he gets an apartment near harvard then i--" he spoke, only to be interrupted, "buddy, i think you're missing my point." meg sighed before turning to him, "you're in highschool, that type of shit doesn't last long and if it does, then it doesn't normally end well."

jack swallowed, knowing well that most highschool relationships don't last and he kept his eyes on meg, "peter's different.......trust me."

  
**•••**

  
"any volunteers for today's share?" leslie, the runner of the narcotics anonymous meetings, asked from the frunt of the room with a soft smile and jack hesitantly raised his hand, taking the woman by surprise, "go right ahead, jack." she smiled and the blonde stood up, "uh.....h-hey everyone, i'm jack and i'm an addict."

"hi jack."

jack shoved his hands in his pockets, trying to keep his cool as he gathered the words he wanted to share in his head, "i guess i just wanna start off by saying i'm sorry.....for lying to everyone. because, uh, almost everytime i showed up here and collected a chip; whether it be one week or five.....i was lying....and i hope you can forgive me for that." he spoke, smiling a little at the crowd of people who were listening to him as he tried to keep his courage up, "but, now i've been clean for a week and....it's been okay."

the crowd clapped for him, which made him blush a little and smile down at the floor, "it hasn't been easy, but thankfully i, uh......i met someone and he's....he's helped a lot and has made me actually want to stay clean. and, i-i dunno if that's just me clinging onto another false hope, because i've been down this fucked up road before." he spoke, voice beginning to shake before looking over to meg, "and, uh, meg just scared the hell out of me by saying it wasn't going to last and you know what? maybe she's right, but......i _really_ hope she's wrong because, like i said, i've been down that road already and i think i found a better road; this one's a lot less broken and i plan on staying on it...........thank you."

the crowd began clapping again as jack sat down and he smiled, letting out a sigh as he leaned his head back against his seat, just hoping that meg was incredibly incorrect and that peter was as different as he thought.

**•◇•**

a knock on peter's window sounded throughout his room, waking him up and he slowly got out of his bed, the knocking continuing and he went to his bedroom window, seeing jack sitting outside on the fire escape and shaking in the cold, "i have a front door, you know." peter mumbled as he opened the window, the light from his bedroom shining onto jack's face and making the faint tear tracks on his face glisten, peter's attitude immediately changing, "hey, what's wrong?"

jack cleared his throat, sniffling, "is it, uh.....is it okay if i spend the night here?"

"yeah, of course, c'mon." peter cooed without hesitation, helping jack climb through his window safely and into the bedroom, the blonde landing softly on the floor and still holding peter's hands, not seeming to want to let go, "i'll get you some clothes, okay?" the brunette cooed and jack nodded as peter walked away, towards his drawings and pulling out clothes for his boyfriend to sleep in, said boyfriend sitting down on peter's bed and getting undressed for the most part, keeping his boxers and pausing at his binder.

"if you sleep in that, i'll smack you."

jack looked up at peter's words, seeing the boy holding out pajama pants for jack to take at the blonde chuckled, taking the pants before pulling off his binder, putting his tshirt on and then standing up to tug the pants on, "you, uh...wanna talk about what happened?"

"i-i don't know, it's not just a simple explanation."

"i'm more than willing to listen to the whole thing."

jack swallowed, laying down on peter's bed and getting under the covers, peter silently following his lead and putting his arms around jack, the two looking at each other and the brunette gently brushed his fingers through jack's hair, "i won't force you to tell me if you don't want to." he cooed and jack jaw quivered a little before he took a breath, "....i got a call from an old friend in kansas, i-i don't know why she called me, but she was the nicest of my friend group so her, uh...."checking up" on me makes some sense, i guess---i mean, i left the state without a word to them."

everything in jack's body language was telling peter that getting these words out was incredibly difficult to do, whatever happened being incredibly hard to even think about let alone talk about, and peter was tempted to speak up and let him know (again) that he didn't have to, but he didn't want to interrupt; "we had a small conversation, it was....awkward but it wasn't too bad until she started talking about my.....i-i don't even know if i can call him an ex, but.....he was kinda the reason we moved."

tears were glistening in jack's eyes, one leaking out and peter gently wiped it away, "i don't want to push you in any way, but.....what did he do?" the brunette cooed, keeping his hand on jack's cheek and his heart aching at the emotional distress that was evident on his partner's face, mouth quivering and breathing shaky as he held back a possible breakdown, "his name was eliot and......h-he didn't really do anything, just......" jack trailed off, taking a deep breath and gripping onto peter's tshirt.

"jack, you don't have to tell me."

"no, you should know. i mean, you're my boyfriend now and you barely know anything about me." jack responded, laughing humorlessly at the end and sniffling, "i met eliot in highschool, i was using at that point and had been to a rehab that didn't do anything. i had seen him around the school before, but i'd never talked to him until i ran into him at a halloween party, we were both drunk, but i was drunk-er and i fell into the pool and he offered to take me to his house so that my parents didn't kill me. he was a good person, like he was sweet and obviously cared for people around him, but, ya know....everyone has their own problems."

jack didn't look at peter, not wanting to look him the face as he talked about this, not sure if he was ashamed or just hated what happened but he couldn't look his partner in the eyes, "i fell so in love with him that there was nothing he would've done that i would've gotten angry by. i mean, sure i would get upset with things that happened in our lives but i was never mad at him and he was only mad at me like twice; there was the time where i got really fucked up at our friend's birthday and what i was taking was really dangerous, and the next day he told me that he wouldn't be around me anymore if i kept using drugs and i didn't quit immediately, but i stopped for him and i was clean for like six months."

".......why was he mad the second time?"

jack visibly tensed, swallowing thickly and pressing his lips together as he held back sobs, "i-it was the week school was ending, and we were at an end of the party that some kid threw, i don't remember who but.....we started arguing and i don't exactly know what got us there, but he was pissed at me and i was angry too and then he said that he wished he never met me......an-and that i fucked up his life and that he never wanted to see me again." the blonde spoke, voice falling to his a whisper and his words crackling with emotion, "i-i went home after that, fucking sobbing my heart out in the street and when i got home.....i relapsed so hard that i woke up in a hospital bed."

peter could see that jack's wall was breaking and he pulled the boy to his chest, it not being long before jack let out a sob and peter hugged him tightly, "i-i don't even kn-know what i did to him, b-but he fucking _hates_ me an-and i know it sh-shouldn't matter anymore b-but...."

"trauma doesn't just leave jack, it's okay that it still hurts."

"b-but i have you! you've been nicer to me then anyone else and you're the best thing that's ever happened to me and i fucking love you, i love you so much."

peter pulled back, gently cupping jack's face and looking at his teary blue eyes, wiping away tears with his thumbs, "it doesn't matter how good things are now, terrible things stick with you and he obviously hurt you, its okay to still be hurt over an old man even if you're in a new one." he cooed, pressing a kiss to jack's forehead, "and i love you too." he added and jack sniffled, snuggling into peter's chest and trying to calm down, "thank you for letting me invade your home."

peter chuckled, "you're welcome to climb through my window anytime."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading this story!! i'm actually really happy with this and i hope you liked how it went.

"you look fucking amazing!"

"are you sure?"

peter scoffed at his boyfriend, who was standing in front of his bedroom mirror and looking at his reflection, "i dressed you, of course you look amazing." he teased and jack rolled his eyes, putting his hands in the pockets of his decorated denim jacket and giving the outfit peter had put him in a look over once again; a black button up with sunflowers on it tucked into dark blue jeans that had rips in the knees and the back pockets painted as pride flags, along with the white sneakers with yellow roses on the side that he wore everywhere and not to mention that peter had done his makeup yet again and put blush over his cheeks and nose with little heart imprints in it, his eyes decorated with faint red eyeshadow and eyeliner.

"i look like a my chemical romance reject, but like......in a good way." 

"that's what i was going for, dummy."

jack turned around, facing his boyfriend who was wearing something similar but with less dark colors and patches, and more pastels and canvas; a black button up with little white hearts on it tucked into light blue jeans that were a little tattered, a dark blue canvas jacket with a couple pins on the breast pockets, doc martens with red roses on the sides that had been worn in a long time ago, along with winged eyeliner on top of faint purple eyeshadow and that same blush as jack but with stars instead of hearts.

"we both look like we rolled out of a hot topic dumpster."

"and it made us look fucking awesome." peter smiled as he walked over to jack, kissing the blonde's forehead and cupping his face, "you look so beautiful." he cooed and jack blushed, "so do you." the boy muttered, peter backing away and grabbing his phone from his bed, turning off the music they were listening to and grabbing jack's hand, "you ready to go to an extremely mediocre school dance with music that we don't even like?"

jack laughed, making sure he had his belongings as well, "you fucking bet i am."

  
**•◇•**

  
peter plopped down onto liz's couch next to jack, the two of them looking ahead at the crowd of students, some dancing to the loud music and some just hanging around, a red cup in the brunette's hand that jack knew was filled with alcohol but he didn't care, he wasn't going to make everyone else around him be sober like him, and in reality it wasn't like he was missing out on much anyway.

you're probably wondering why the hell jack and peter were at liz's house, weren't they supposed to be at homecoming? well, they went to homecoming but a week before that, liz said she was holding an end of semester party after the dance and so here they were; having a better time at liz's house than in a crowded school gymnasium.

"is it weird?"

"what?" jack asked, turning his head to to ned who sitting on a chair near the couch his friends were on, "being a teenager but not able to do "teenager stuff", like everyone else is doing something that you can't really do." he explained and jack shrugged, "well, i won't be able to do adult stuff when i'm an adult because i did things like take ten vicodin and drink an entire thing of vodka and black out for three days straight when i was teenager."

michelle, who was sitting on the floor in front of ned, furrowed her eyebrows together and looked to the blonde, "for three days?"

"i still went to school and did homework though, apparently."

"yeah, but now you've been sober for over two months." peter commented as he grabbed jack's hand that didn't have his soda in it, giving it a loving squeeze before giving jack's cheek a kiss, their friends making fake gagging sounds and jack flipped them off before turning his head to give peter an actual kiss, pulling away after a bit and taking a sip of his drink, "jack?"

"hm?"

"isn't that your sister?"

jack nearly choked on his drink, sitting up and looking the way that ned was pointing, seeing maggie sitting in a small circle of chairs with a few other people, flash being one of those people and handing her a joint that she hesitantly took, "......i'll be right back." jack spoke before putting his drink down, angerily going to the other room where his little sister and the biggest prick in midtown tech sat.

"see, that wasn't so bad was it?" flash cooed creepily as maggie breathed out smoke, coughing a little and flash leaned towards her, making rage boil up inside up jack's chest, "if you even fucking dare move an inch closer to my sister, you will get a one way ticket to the fucking emergency room." jack spat as he entered the room, everyone turning at his shout and flash laughed, "this your sister? no wonder she hit the weed so well."

"get up."

flash, once again, laughed as jack stood over him, "what are you gonna do? call your mommy on me?" he teased and maggie passed the joint to the person next to her, pressing her lips together as she could practically see steam come out of her brother's ears, "i said get the fuck up!" jack shouted before grabbing flash by his suit jacket, yanking him out of his seat and dragging him to the nearest door, which happened to be the garage door and he grabbed a plastic chair, slamming flash down into it and standing over him.

"you think you're the fucking best thing in the fucking city, don't you?"

despite the obvious fear, flash still had some sass in him, "well, i am pretty popular."

now it was jack's turn to laugh, "alright, listen closely, asshole." he smiled, his tone anything but kind, "if you ever fucking go near my little sister again, i'll destroy your entire life." he glared and flash gulped, but still kept fighting, "you might wanna think about what you say, i know you've lost some braincells over the years and i don't want you to say something you'll regret." flash spoke, trying to be intimidating just because his parents were rich and much more powerful than jack's parents, but that didn't mean a damn thing in this conversation.

"what are you gonna do? ruin my life? i fucking promise you that i can do that so much better than you ever could. because i know for a fact that if i spent at least ten minutes looking through your social media; any chance you have with any type of college would come crashing down and you'll have to rely on mommy and daddy's money for the rest of your pathetic life." he spat, getting in flash's face, "and speaking of people you won't go near, you better leave peter and the rest of my friends the fuck alone or the next talk we have, the guys i bring with me will be way more fucking terrifying than i am."

"you have guys?"

"did you actually expect for someone who has gone to rehab more than once to not have guys that could tear you apart on speed dial?"

flash gulped again, staying silent and jack smirked, "now, you're gonna walk out of this room and have as much fun as you want, but i want you to keep this conversation in mind, got it?" he asked and flash nodded, "......got it." he muttered and jack stood up, "see you next semester, eugene." he smiled before leaving the garage, going back to the room where his friends were and finding maggie sitting next to peter, both of them looking a little out of it.

"do we have a body to hide?"

jack laughed at mj's question as he sat on the other side of peter, "nah, but he might have to change his pants though." he mumbled before grabbing his drink and sipping on it.

  
**•◇•**

  
"you're home earlier than i thought."

jack looked up as he shut maggie's bedroom door, seeing his father in pajamas leaning against his bedroom doorway, "oh, i just came to drop maggie off, she's a pretty tired so mj was kind enough to drive us by so i could get her home, plus i forgot some stuff for spending the night at peter's." he smiled, half lying because the reality was that maggie didn't want to be at the party anymore and was still kinda stoned, terrified of their parents knowimg that she was high so she was curled up in bed and hiding. "tell michelle thank you for me and mom." castiel smiled and jack nodded, heading to his room as castiel did the same and grabbing some some pajamas and shoving them into a bag because he actually did forget to pack stuff for spending the night at his boyfriend's.

after a quick goodnight to his parents before heading back outside and getting back into mj's car, sitting with a tipsy peter in the backseat and going to his apartment.

  
**•••**

  
"you're not even that drunk, stop tripping over yourself." jack laughed as he guided peter into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him, "bold of you to assume that i have to be drunk to trip over myself." peter replied as he sat down on his bed, undressing as jack went into the teen's drawers to get him clothes, tossing a shirt and pajama pants onto the bed, "get changed, i need to take all this makeup off."

peter made a noise to confirm that he heard jack as the blonde left the room, taking his bag with him as he ducked into the bathroom, finding makeup wipes in the bathroom and using them to get the makeup off before undressing, letting out a sigh after he pulled his pajamas on, lazily washing his face and staring at his reflection for awhile, spacing out as his eyes zoned in on his blank expression, things getting a little blurry in his vision as he did so, like a camera focusing on the character that was the center of the scene.

things had changed so much in just four months; at the start of this school year, he was a drug addict with a shattered heart and no desire to get better, but now......jack was actually feeling good about the world. like whoever created and ran this floating rock in space with billions of people on it wasn't out to get him for no reason and that there wasn't a need to kill braincells to feel happy. that there were people that wouldn't stab him in the back if he didn't do what they wanted, he had friends that cared for him now and didn't use him to get to his drug dealer or some other fucked up shit that would make him feel like garbage when he found out.

he came to queens thinking it would be just as shitty as kansas, but it was the opposite really; it didn't give him back stabbing friends or a boyfriend who didn't even really love him, it gave him a wonderful friend group that thought he was pretty damn cool and a boyfriend that looked at him the same way he did.

kansas gave him a false reality that crushed him in the end, but queens gave him hope for his future---hell, it gave him the desire to have a future.

jack let out a small laugh at the realization, snapping himself out of his daze and noticing that he had started to cry, wiping at his eyes and sniffling, grabbing his stuff before getting out of the bathroom and going back to peter's room, tossing his bag on the floor and climbing into peter's bed, curling up under the blanket and wrapping his arms around peter, who did the same and gently put a hand on the blonde's cheek, looking at his red-rimmed and faintly teary eyes, "are you okay?"

jack smiled, putting his hand on top of peter's, "i'm fucking great."

**Author's Note:**

> don't mind the spelling/grammar mistakes. i'm lazy by nature and don't pay attention to things.


End file.
